February 15, 2014

Let It Go

Let it go I say! I can't, I can't. I fight.

Something delicate and sweet at my finger tips, on the tip of my tongue, in a whispered word something soft spoken, a poem, a rhyme, a saying about time. How far do I travel, how far should I roam, do I reach out and pluck it, or snatch it from thin air? Do I travel the highways and byways, do I stray from home? How far do I search, how far until I'm lost, how far do I roam?

Someone soft and beautiful I see. Can't be me, it’s someone far, far away, over land and into the sea. It’s fragile, a petal, a snow flake, a bird's song. Soft as a baby's touch, I border disbelief; thoughts fail me now.....I’m almost there, almost there. I can't fight the intricate softness of the sounds of the nightingale, or the touch of your hair. Feelings become a plural word, defines Who.  We.  Are.  Do we exist if the absence of feelings? How many words define me as complete, whole, or falling asleep with the word love written upon my lips; a three dimensional word, clutched between two hands?  Hear it...see it...feel it beat, taste these feelings...no physical explanation for being filled... full…Bursting…Breaking…Drinking to fullness

Soda…Beer…Champagne bubbles, bubbling over; effervescent foam tipped with tears, falling empty, hollow, without feelings.  I wonder do you stop feeling when you run out of tears.  I wonder who I am, some days, some days I'm full, some days I'm empty, flat.  What causes meanderings and fluctuations? - Or just lumpy clam chowder this week? I think it’s time to sleep. 

Dreams of broken pieces gone sailing across the universe: fragments, filaments, anchoring time, the compendium of life.  Vibrations!  Can you hear them?  Can you feel them?  Worlds collide!  Tears - A river, a breach in the bank, a hurt, an ache in the heart.  Let it go, let it go, let it go to the shore.  Let it go no more into your eyes. 

She enters the path, a long winding path; the gate is open at the end of the path.  She runs to the stream, a long winding stream, the stream is cold, but she crosses the stream.  A field of blooms, wide open with blooms; walk ahead, walk ahead, step gently through the blooms - One step at a time, one quiet movement through time. Don’t wake the frogs and the birds; the sleeping day is captured in time.

February 12, 2014

Cotton Candy Dreamscape

Floating, floating off across the rivers, the plains, through the clouds of puffy white...sweet dreams conjure candy; cotton candy tasted by you, you...the world in all its wonder, oh to wonder, to wander the length of time. Never ending… never going forward, just standing still, times to enjoy the now, but time takes off again, never ending speed. I trip, I fall, I pick myself up to climb the wall...always a wall...too tall. Lay me down to sleep in the green meadows, where streams run clear...so close, so near. I fear. Memories go past in time, halting for one true second in time. Stop, starting up again…a blur, the noise of an ocean's roar...stings the water, salty water…close your eyes, the ocean cries tears in your eyes. Always comes back to time gone by...bygones, silent bygones rush to wake my soul. remember, no, remember to slow, go slow...grip the railing as you fly higher into the clouds, don’t look down, don't look back...fly through the cotton candy, lick the sweetness from your lips...taste life, now...not yesterday, not tomorrow, but now.

February 9, 2014

Night Musings

Letting mind go where it wants to go, oh the relief, the life, the floating away of grief where sorrow encases a big pile of heavy days load, and time shovels the crud away. Scoop by scoop by scoop, one scoop a day, one scoop away. Weight bogs and bends and buries. You cry and sigh and terry. Wishing and hoping away the bad dreams, the yesterdays, the good, the bad, the in-betweens.  Feet slogging through mud until boots are sucked beneath the surface, and bare feet become shiny and glossy crimson, meeting hot coals beneath the mud.

A voice in sadness beckons from reading words, Murakami...reminding of a marriage...sleeping next to someone, feeling alone, to lie beside and feel alone....how sad it is to be next to that someone. Never so unbearable, oppressive, depressive, smothering as the mud bogging down, sucking feet into hot coals, waiting for that day of freedom, to walk with bare feet across cooling grass...reaching a place of calm.

Morning breaks. Cool air takes care. Blue skies wash over eyes. Tears dry. Musings call, call, call me home to ramble in thought, set free as a feather, to float in the air, drifting words, catching words, tossing words up, up and up off the ground...light beckons, light as a feather, no sadness to be found.

February 4, 2014

Green Light Waltz

Time, time, time watching little green lights flicker on, then off...a day of contemplation as a little green light flickers through the day, on then off, on then off, holding still; off in a flash, gone in hopes of coming back...then on, then off, then out, gone, gone into the cold of the night. No light: Out of sight. Here, then gone, gone, gone, one two three, one two three, where might you be?  Tomorrow the sun; up, up, up: Tomorrow, always tomorrow. Bright sunny days, or cloudy, or rain...tomorrow; a little green light flickers on, flickers off....another day of contemplation. Will it be here tomorrow, with or without sorrow - On then off, on then off? Wondering, wondering, will my light be on, or off, on or off....through the day, through the night, through a bright sunny day....or here, out of sight: Contemplations of green taking flight, high, higher than most, or low to the ground, watching the bright green light dance...with a smile or a frown, a smile or a trance? On or off; contemplating moods, falling to sleep, falling, falling, and then falling into, into  the flickering green of a little bright light in the night.....